Dueduedue官方博客2018-03-12essay代写 884 0A+A-




题目Contest Sentence:

“It became clear that to rid the clamoring crowd of its most vocal spokesman would be to enhance the meeting’s effectiveness.”

正确解答 Answer: Clearly, silencing the clamoring crowd’s most vocal spokesman would enhance the meeting’s effectiveness.

We believe the best revision is… “Clearly, silencing the clamoring crowd's most vocal spokesman would enhance the meeting's effectiveness.” This word choice and structure improves the sentence in several ways. First, it reduces the word count to 13 from 21 without diminishing the impact of the sentence or changing its meaning or tone. The statement remains impersonal—which usually is preferred in academic writing—but is invigorated through use of a gerund (“silencing”) instead of a full infinitive (“to rid”).

我们相信最佳写法应为“Clearly, silencing the clamoring crowd's most vocal spokesman would enhance the meeting's effectiveness.” 改写后的句子在用字与句型上有几个好处,包括字数从21个字缩减为13个字,而不影响句子意义与语气;句子仍然保持客观—这是学术写作中较适当的语气;而动名词silencing取代了不定词to rid,使句子更具活力。

Use of a full infinitive is appropriate in some instances—for example, to convey an abstract thought (“To be or not to be…”). However, as part of an impersonal sentence beginning with “It,” such infinitive usage nearly always produces a statement long on words and short on vigor. Just as enervating are sentences beginning with the impersonal “there,” as in “There is justification for testing it again.” Academic writers wanting to avoid either construction can follow this general guideline: The most active, direct, and compelling language is the surest way to connect writer and reader.

在某些情形下,使用不定词并无不当—例如表达抽象想法时 (“To be or not to be…”)。但句子既无人称,开头又用了It,那么不定词会驱使句子呈现冗长,了无生意。 there开头的句型同样有弱化句子语气的影响,例如 “There is justification for testing it again.”。学术论文的作者若是想避免写出这类句子,可以遵循下列准则:主动、直接、具说服力的用词与用字,最能成为连结作者与读者意见沟通的桥梁。

Some writers might wonder about using “silencing the clamoring crowd's…” instead of the more derivative “ridding the clamoring crowd of its…” However, besides being more succinct, “silencing” refers directly to the issue of speech. While ridding an audience of a verbal person and silencing the verbal person produce the same result, “ridding” usually means removal from an audience. On the other hand, “silencing” mostly suggests a cessation of talk, which is the central issue. After all, a vocal person can be silenced through persuasion, shaming, or removal from the scene.

有些作者可能会疑惑,为什么要用silencing the clamoring crowd’s取代较常见的“ridding the clamoring crowd of its…”。这样的写法除了较简洁外,silencing与演讲这项主题也较有关系。从听众当中除去一名发言者,以及,让这名发言者无法出声,尽管这两种写法目的都相同,但前者ridding通常意味着要这个人离开听众群。另一方面而言,silencing基本上意指停止说话,正是原句要表达的意思。毕竟要让一个人静下来有许多方法,例如说服、使其感到羞愧、或是请其直接离席都是可考虑的方法。


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