Dueduedue官方博客
扫描关注Dueduedue官方博客

扫描添加微信客服

Essay代写:你是不是赘字太多了?

Dueduedue官方博客2018-03-08essay代写 463 0A+A-

1.jpg

身为专业译者与编辑,多年来为许多英语非母语人士修改与润色文章,发觉国人从事英文写作时常犯的错误,在于落入中文的语法陷阱中、或是无意识受到中文影响而使用不该用的措辞,造成词不达意而无法精确地用英文的句构逻辑连结起来,但也可能仅是对于英文句法结构的不熟悉所致。

此次推出的新专栏希望能带领读者发现常见的英文写作陷阱,并避免将这些谬误带入文章当中。新专栏并非在教导文法规则,而是提出一些观点,提点写作者如何提升英文写作风格与文字说服力。

As an editor and translator with years of experience in correcting English written by non-native speakers, I have come across certain areas that seem to be major pitfalls for Chinese speakers when writing in English. These mistakes are usually the writer's Chinese grammar or diction unconsciously coming out in their English exposition, or perhaps simply a unfamiliarity with English composition at its higher levels. 

This monthly column can teach you to spot these common writing pitfalls and thus avoid having them find their way into your English composition. It will not be a list of grammar rules to follow, but instead a look into how we can improve the style and force of our English writing.

Common writing errors by non-native speakers of English #1: Wordiness

非英文母语者常见写作错误之一:赘字(Wordiness)

Wordiness comes in my forms, but, generally in non-native writers of English, it occurs when they use too many words, belabor a point, or are simply redundant in their writing. Some examples:

就非英文母语人士而言,「赘字」常发生在使用太多的字汇、过度阐述某个论点,抑或写作时措辞冗长而多余。我们举些例子:

1,What is the government planning to do to prevent such a tragedy from happening again in the future?

政府目前有什么规划能防止悲剧在未来再次发生?

2,After two months of cleaning, Mary and Joe can finally live in a home that is safe and healthy for their bodies and minds.

经过两个月彻底清洁后,Mary和 Joe终于可以让他们的身心灵住得既安全又健康。

3,It is difficult to recognize which twin is which, as the two look extremely alike.

要从双胞胎中辨别出谁是谁并非易事,因为他们俩个看起来非常相像。

Often a good place to look for redundancy is at the end of a sentence. Do you end your sentences in a way that leaves your reader with a clear, concise image, or are you drowning out your point in excess verbal baggage?

检视文章句构是否有冗词赘字,最好的地方在于句末处。当结束句子时,您是简洁明了的作结,还是丢下过多的言词包袱给读者呢?

Let’s take a look now at our examples. At first glance, it seems like there is nothing wrong with them. While that may be true grammatically, they all suffer from bloated endings, or wordiness.

让我们一起来看看上述的例子。乍看之下好像没有什么不对劲的地方,或许文法上没错,但在句末处却都面临到冗赘又啰嗦的写作错误。

Take a moment and see how you would change the sentences…

花点时间,看您如何改变这些句子…

Welcome back. Let’s now take a look at our first sentence:

欢迎回来。现在就让我们检视第一个句子:

What is the government planning to do to prevent such a tragedy from happening again in the future?

政府目前有什么规划能防止悲剧在未来再次发生?

Here the obvious wordiness is found in the relationship between the phrases “happening again” and “in the future.” To “happen again” points to a date in the future; thus, we can say that “happening again” already has in it the assumption of an act “in the future.” Therefore we find that if we remove the redundant “in the future”, we get a sentence that is much more concise and vivid in its question to its readers:

这里很明显地看出「再次发生」与「在未来」两词的赘字情形。 「再次发生」意指「在未来」的时间;因此,我们可以说「再次发生」已经是「在未来」的假定事实。所以,如果去掉多余的「在未来」,我们就能为读者呈现出更为简练生动的文字:

What is the government planning to do to prevent such a tragedy from happening again?

政府目前有什么规划能防止悲剧在未来再次发生?

Now how about our second example? Again our culprit lies at the end of the sentence with the phrase “bodies and minds.” Here again, “bodies and minds” is best left unstated as readers will be able to fill in the blanks without our obvious and heavy handed prodding. They know that a home described as “safe and healthy” is safe and healthy with regard to the bodies and minds of those living within. Once again, the sentence can be strengthened by eliminating the final phrase:

那么第二个例子呢?罪魁祸首一样是句末的「身心灵」。 「身心灵」最好留给读者体会与想像的空间,而非刻意再次强调。读者知道把家里形容为「安全又健康」,必定是「身心灵」都能「安全又健康」。再一次证明,文章句构能透过消除句末赘字而呈现精简又隽永的文字美感。

After two months of cleaning, Mary and Joe can finally live in a home that is safe and healthy.

经过两个月澈底清洁后,Mary和 Joe终于可以让他们的身心灵住得既安全又健康。

Finally, we come to our last sentence. I believe that by now readers can guess where the problem is and how to fix it. So I’ll leave this one to you.

最后,我们来到最后一句话。我相信您们现在都能猜到问题所在以及该如何解决。因此,就让我将这句留给您修改吧!

Dueduedue服务-【essay代写】【essay修改】全球在线写作中心

文章关键词
英文essay代写
英语essay代写
留学essay代写
海外essay代写
专业essay代写
留学生essay代写
代写essay
代写大学essay
发表评论