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高分essay代写写作:什么才是完美的Introduction?

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高分essay写法:避免使用口语英文,以及减少非必要细节,采用『说故事』或『举例』吸引读者兴趣。

针对写作题目”Do you like to eat out or eat at home?”我写了下面的Introduction:

『I loved to eat as a kid.I would eat anything out of my mom’s cooking.My mom used to cook the best chicken soup on earth,and the way she prepared the stir fried rice was so fantastic that I just kept eating and eating,bowl after bowl.Man,my mom fed me so well I became the fattest boy at my grade school and high school.She was the best mom in the whole world.My mom’s cooking was good,but I also liked to eat off the street vendors.They’ve got a wide variety of foods,like steamed stinky tofu,steaks,fried octopus ball,oily rice,and many other kinds you can think of.But you know what?My favorite of all time was deep fried chicken nugget Taiwanese style.No other fried chickens prepared in other cultures ever come close to our yummy chicken nugget,I tell you.So,I love homemade dishes and street food,but if I have to choose between them,I would probably go for street food.It just has more choices,and the thought of eating out alone kills me–the adventure of finding the food I like,the tasting of it,and of course the hot chicks swirling around me.That’s why I vote for dining out.”

这样写法的真正问题是在:

1,口语英文的使用。

2,太多非必要细节。

但是,这种『说故事』或『举例』的写法,是吸引读者兴趣的好方法。就留学考试、作业而言,高分关键之一,就是你的写作是否吸引读者。下面的改写,沿用『说故事』的写法,但内容、文字更精简︰

“A part of my fondest childhood memory is my mother’s cooking.She was skilled at turning simple ingredients into gourmet dishes,and enjoying her dishes was a sensuous experience to me every day.I was addicted to the heavenly smell and taste of her food until I moved out to attend college.That was the first time I was introduced to the wonder of street food.Often my friends and I would explore delicacies from one vendor to another,from one night market to another,and from one town to another.Over time,eating out has become part of my lifestyle.The way my mother prepared the food is unique in her own way,because of love and care she put into it,but what makes street food attractive to me is its wide range of selection,care-free enjoyment,and associated social functions.”

当然,这绝不是唯一或最好的Introduction。你也可以尝试其他的写法。

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